Struggling to understand what Jeremy Corbyn’s supporters are on about? This should make it all clear.
6:19PM
BST 14 Aug 2015
Eager to join the debate about Jeremy Corbyn, the Left-wing Labour leadership favourite? Help is at hand, with our essential glossary of Corbynite words and phrases.
Blair, Tony. Genocidal
Right-wing dictator who led Labour to three disastrous election
victories.
Compassion. What Corbynites’
political views are inspired by, along with empathy, kindness, decency and
fellow feeling. That and Aneurin Bevan’s dictum that all Tories are “lower than
vermin”.
Foot, Michael. Visionary thinker
who led Labour to triumphant defeat.
Hatred. What Tory scum are full
of.
Ideological. Adjective
describing the political motives of Corbynites’ opponents. “The Tories’ cuts to
public services are merely ideological.” Compare: Principled.
Labour party membership. Body of
people that is precisely representative of the electorate at large, proving that
if Jeremy Corbyn wins the party leadership he can win a general
election.
Media. Network of corrupt
Establishment puppeteers who dictate the result of every general election
through their brainwashing of the proletariat. There is no other explanation for
the working class’s rejection of socialism, because the proles are incapable of
forming their own opinions.
Neoliberal. Useful catch-all
epithet for any policy, idea, opinion or action not endorsed by Jeremy Corbyn
and his supporters. “You pour the milk in first, rather than the hot water?
That’s so neoliberal.”
Non-voters. Vast army of
hitherto disillusioned socialists who will sweep Jeremy Corbyn to Downing Street
in 2020. Please ignore polling by the Trades Union Congress that shows the top three reasons non-voters
gave for not voting Labour in May, namely: “They would spend too much”, “They
would make it too easy for people to live on benefits” and “They would raise
taxes”.
Opposition. Pinnacle of
political power.
Personal abuse. Something Jeremy
Corbyn and his supporters will never stoop to. Unlike those evil selfish Tories,
and that murdering war criminal Blair, and that Thatcherite cow Liz Kendall, and
those washed-up irrelevances the Lib Dems, and those racist thugs
Ukip.
Principled. Adjective describing
the political motives of Corbynites. “My support for reopening the coal mines
is principled.” Compare: Ideological.
Protest. Attractive new name for
the revitalised Labour party under Jeremy Corbyn’s
leadership.
Smear. Unhelpful
fact.
Tory. Any human being who
opposes, or has yet to declare public support for, Jeremy Corbyn’s leadership
campaign. Examples of Tories include Harriet Harman, Ed Miliband, Gordon Brown,
the Guardian columnist Polly Toynbee, and Stalin. Telegraph.
