Lib Dems.

Members of the Liberal Democrat Party have declared it unfair that the Conservative and Labour parties are allowed to rip themselves apart publicly unless they are allowed to do so too. “With only six, or is it eight, MPs it’s difficult to get a conversation going, let alone a fearsome angst-ridden debate tearing chunks out of each other,” said a Lib Dem MP who referred to himself as “number three, or maybe four.”

He explained how the party had decided to just number each MP after the last election “to save time” but now a year later none of them can remember each others name. “No idea who number one is, but apparently he’s in charge,” he added.

The party has “an outline plan” to start ripping each other to bits, saying beastly things and voting in a new leader. “Then popping down to the canteen for a nice cup of tea and a group hug.” News Biscuit.