Published:
January 6th, 2017
In this piece, Christian Concern's Communications Officer Camilla Olim
comments on news that married parents are more likely to stay together than
cohabiting ones, yet campaigners are calling for the introduction of 'online
divorce'.
She
highlights how 'online divorce' would pave the way to 'no-fault' divorce, as
society continues to ignore that marriage is proven to be best for human
flourishing. 'No-fault' divorce, she says, would be the "last nail in the
coffin" for the national honouring and upholding of
marriage.
This week, the Daily Mail reported figures showing that for the first time, break-ups
involving cohabiting parents have overtaken break-ups involving married
parents.
The figures, from the Office for National Statistics, showed that though
nearly four times as many parents with children are married rather than
cohabiting, 51.5% of those who broke-up last year were cohabitees. This compares
with 2006 when 45.3% of family breakdowns were cohabiting
couples.
It backs research by the Marriage Foundation: "Cohabiting
parents make up 19 per cent of all couples with dependent children, but account
for half of all family breakdown."
At the same time as this new evidence in favour of marriage is released,
plans are being made to introduce 'online divorce'. The
process, which would involve paying a mere £37 to fill out an online form, is
expected to be rolled out as a pilot scheme later this year. Campaigners claim
that this would save couples stress, time and paperwork. Although they have not
outright admitted as such, this move would pave the way to the eventual
introduction of 'no-fault' divorce. Only in November last year, 150 family
lawyers gathered in Parliament to lobby for
this.
So, as we are shown yet again that God's pattern for mankind is truly
good, campaigners are pushing for divorce to be made easier still. Mankind will
continue to stubbornly rebel, heedless of the evidence stacked against
him.
The cost of family breakdown is huge, as several studies have shown, but
society continues to ignore it or simply accept it, believing it to be
inevitable.
The Relationships Foundation, for
example, estimated that family breakdown cost the public purse £47 billion in
2015, the equivalent of £1,546 for every UK taxpayer.
Research carried out last year by the family lawyers' association Resolution indicated that divorce and family breakdown
makes young people more likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol, as well as
perform worse in GCSE and A-Level exams.
Despite these devastating facts, those pushing online divorce and indeed
'no-fault' divorce argue that the process should be made as smooth as
possible.
Under current law, couples have to state that a marriage has broken down
'irretrievably' when filing for divorce. They can only do so if one of the
following is established: Adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion or
separation. Couples will often cite 'unreasonable behaviour' as the closest
thing to 'no-fault' divorce, as the behaviours considered 'unreasonable' can be
extremely trivial.
Proponents of 'no-fault' divorce argue that it will allow couples to
split without the need for couples to accuse one another. But if so many couples
believe that their marriage has broken down irretrievably with 'no fault' on
either side, then the question has to be asked if it has really, truly broken
down with no hope of repair.
Perhaps, the reality is often this: It is not that husband or wife has
actively ruined the marriage, but rather the breakdown is a result of a lack of
action. It is common for couples to say that they simply 'fell out of love'. If
a house is neglected, it eventually falls apart. Marriage is supposed to take
work, and research shows that the effort pays off. For example, the Marriage
Foundation found last September that married couples who have occasional date
nights have 14% lower odds of breaking up.
Sir Paul Coleridge, Chairman of the Marriage Foundation, commented: "This
apparently light hearted piece of research highlights an essential truth about
the importance of maintaining a stable and healthy marriage especially where
there are children."
It is truly sad to think that many couples still vow to stay together
until 'death do us part', as they tie the knot, yet divorce violates those vows.
But to be able to exit a marriage on the internet; to be able to exit a marriage
despite no alleged fault on either side, would send a clear message that as a
society, we no longer value marriage – and by extension, the
family.
This devaluing began a long time ago, as we have slowly unravelled the
protections surrounding marriage- the decriminalisation of sexual acts between
same-sex couples in 1967, the Divorce Reform Act 1969, the Civil Partnership Act
2004, and the introduction of same-sex 'marriage' in 2014. 'No-fault' divorce
would be the last nail in the coffin when it comes to a national upholding and
honouring of marriage.
In Matthew 19, when Jesus was questioned by the Pharisees on whether it
was lawful to divorce "for
any and every reason", he told them that marriage, created by God, is
designed to last. And when they asked him why Moses permitted divorce, Jesus
answered by first pointing to the condition of the human heart: "Moses
permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was
not this way from the beginning."
God takes divorce seriously because marriage is not just a social
contract but a holy institution. Marriage is designed to bind two souls together
in a covenant relationship, and when that bond is broken it leaves mess and
brokenness. It leaves children to pay the heavy
price.
Society's relentless consumerism has infiltrated the way that we view
relationships. The prevalence of pornography and even the popularity of some
online dating apps like Tinder and Happn are symptoms of our desire for instant
self-gratification. We seek pleasure without commitment. We seek contact without
connection. As orphans estranged from their Father, our society's understanding
of love is tainted.
Is it any wonder, then, that campaigners are calling for online
divorce?
But that doesn't mean we should be silent about it. We know that marriage
is still proven to provide the best environment for human
flourishing.
As Christian Concern's Chief Executive Andrea Williams said during a Sky News debatethis week,
divorce is "tragic
for everyone when we consider just how important marriage is, how it's the
cornerstone of society. And how we should be doing all that we can to keep
marriages together, not to simplify the process for people parting from one
another."
The church needs to speak out, as it celebrates and promotes marriage, as
it stands with the married, the not-yet-married and the divorcees - who, like
us all, are in need of grace, of forgiveness and
healing.
Christian
Concern.
