Dear Gordon - petrol.

Dear Gordon,
I understand that you are unable to drive - but heck - never mind, you can be chauffeured to wherever you want to go.
I realise that you have a nice fat salary and so the matter of price increases to petrol and diesel are things which you just cannot comprehend and you do not see that these are costs, which literally wreck the careful budgets of millions of people and are devastating to the hardworking and thrifty.
Just as you were getting that little 'bounce' in the polls too. [What a laugh that was, eh? You start a fire and then get praised for throwing a bucket of water onto it!] - Somebody here advises this to get the Treasury a few bob back.
Yes, Gord. An extra government 9p per gallon by April. Breathtaking in its brilliance and its simplicity; truly once again, the mark of a fiscal genius!
The proles won't mind, will they? Petrol has dropped in price recently, hasn't it?
Great.

Your pal.

PS. Oh, you don't think that any of those voters who had thought of going back to Labour might get angry and vote against you for this treachery, do you?
No. I'm sure that you will have thought that one through! After all you understand their pain - or maybe you don't.